To Break or Not to Break?

I am a big fan of Prison Break. For the last two seasons, I have watched all episodes back-to-back. OK, going to come clean here. It's because of Wentworth Miller. He really played the main character Michael Scofield really well. Intelligent, good-looking. Hehhe. For me, intelligence is a sexy factor. :P And when you top that with good looks - vavavoom. Haha.

But I am thinking of giving up Season 3,even with 6 episodes downloaded fresh out of the Fox TV. Not because it's not good, or Michael's killed, or anything like that. In fact, everything about it is still clever, twisted and edgy - and 3x more of that edginess! So what's wrong? Well, halfway through the second episode of Season 3, I realized I couldn't stomach any of the violent scenes on screen anymore. It was just too much for me.

The sypnosis seemed harmless enough: this season of Prison Break takes viewers to Sona, a prison in Panama where rules do not apply, and guards refuse to work there because they couldn't control the inmates anymore. It was portrayed as the ultimate hell on earth. And the producers really did a good job reproducing that.

That aside, it's actually an interesting watch because now Michael does not have anything planned at all. How is he to escape? I really want to follow through how he manages it. But I cannot stand watching the torture, cruelty and inhumane things in Sona - eventhough of course everything is fictional. Violence makes me sick - and it literally did, because after watching I had bouts of stomachache.

But it made me think: what had that show triggered in me? My fear of darkness?

Perhaps I can continue watching with a different mindset. I actually think I can turn this into a somewhat educational thing: I can take on the challenge of watching with full awareness and not identifying with everything I see. And then checking to see what kind of emotions it actually triggers - maybe it might help me to see something in myself that I have never seen before. Some clues to some fears I have long buried within?

Ok la...let me give it another two more episodes...then I'd decide. Going to make this TV watching a mindful one then...indulge with a reason...