To Break or Not to Break?

I am a big fan of Prison Break. For the last two seasons, I have watched all episodes back-to-back. OK, going to come clean here. It's because of Wentworth Miller. He really played the main character Michael Scofield really well. Intelligent, good-looking. Hehhe. For me, intelligence is a sexy factor. :P And when you top that with good looks - vavavoom. Haha.

But I am thinking of giving up Season 3,even with 6 episodes downloaded fresh out of the Fox TV. Not because it's not good, or Michael's killed, or anything like that. In fact, everything about it is still clever, twisted and edgy - and 3x more of that edginess! So what's wrong? Well, halfway through the second episode of Season 3, I realized I couldn't stomach any of the violent scenes on screen anymore. It was just too much for me.

The sypnosis seemed harmless enough: this season of Prison Break takes viewers to Sona, a prison in Panama where rules do not apply, and guards refuse to work there because they couldn't control the inmates anymore. It was portrayed as the ultimate hell on earth. And the producers really did a good job reproducing that.

That aside, it's actually an interesting watch because now Michael does not have anything planned at all. How is he to escape? I really want to follow through how he manages it. But I cannot stand watching the torture, cruelty and inhumane things in Sona - eventhough of course everything is fictional. Violence makes me sick - and it literally did, because after watching I had bouts of stomachache.

But it made me think: what had that show triggered in me? My fear of darkness?

Perhaps I can continue watching with a different mindset. I actually think I can turn this into a somewhat educational thing: I can take on the challenge of watching with full awareness and not identifying with everything I see. And then checking to see what kind of emotions it actually triggers - maybe it might help me to see something in myself that I have never seen before. Some clues to some fears I have long buried within?

Ok la...let me give it another two more episodes...then I'd decide. Going to make this TV watching a mindful one then...indulge with a reason...

Re-membering Love From Inside Out

Today I had an epiphany on Love Wisdom. Right after I woke up in my groggy state at 6.30am this morning and done my morning meditation and hit the first key on my keyboard to journal, the information and insights started to come like a tap turned to its max. Perhaps the Divine took my article on Love Wisdom yesterday as an affirmation that I indeed am serious and diligent about pursuing the path of Love and Wisdom. I am telling you, writing things down has such power.

Insights rarely come to me during meditation. It's always during shower, toilet breaks, dinnertime, sleeping time, etc. And they are always in concepts that I would have to figure out on my own. What I do is type it out and then see what comes out from there. Almost always as I do that, it would all make sense.

I do think that when I get those concepts, it's from the Soul and Heart, and when the Mind is willing to understand it and explore that concept, the Mind would help to form sequences, sentences and all to work out the insight into understandable information. I really really like doing this. Frankly? It gives me a certain kind of high and I can do this the entire day and never get tired of it.

So today was one of the most intense and comprehensive of Insight download. It was non-stop and I was just typing and typing. I was excited because I have never seen the topic of Love in such a clear light before. For four hours I was typing and typing. No reference from any books, all from the mind. At one point I was even asking the questions and the answers come back addressing me as "you". As if someone was talking to me. I think I might have channeled today.

Channeled who? I don't know and don't really care much because the insights were more important. Perhaps it was my Soul. It sounded almost like me, but I have to admit, now that I think about it, the English was rather odd. The expression of sentences were quite foreign. And it's an energy I am somewhat familiar with, but never actually thought about it - because it was very subtle like a gentle breeze, yet strong in every word. No guesswork to the answers she gives me. Yes, I can feel it's a she, or maybe not, but the energy is soft and feminine. She is also very steady and sure. And loving in a grounded way - not the giddy, sweet and sugary way.

Oh well, maybe I am talking to my Inner Self, Higher Self. But while I am curious, it's OK not to know for now because the insights were all that matters.

When I get a chance to complete the arrangement of the concepts I have received today, I will post it up on my main page. Sharing insights always lead to more, and affirm firmly more of what I know.

Thank you Divine, for allowing me to experience the answers to What is Love.

Early Bird

Usually 10am is the time I start work. Or on days that I don't have to work, it's when I am still asleep with the sun on my rear end. But today, a Sunday, I have already completed this blog post and an article before 10am. Thanks to waking up early at 6am.

Today was the first morning I put my Wake Up Early habit into test run (read here about how I created the plan). I actually woke up before the first alarm went off, without needing to shake of grogginess or a reward to pull me off my bed.

However last night was a different story. I went to bed at 10.30pm, but only fell asleep after 1 am. I guess it’s because it’s the Chinese New Year break, and having rested enough for so many days, I wasn’t at all tired.

Yes, so some people say to get up and do something if we can’t fall asleep after 10mins. But I chose to stay on and focus on relaxing my body. After all, my motive for going to bed early also includes giving my physical self a good rest. If I got up, I’d sure be indulging the mind in too many thinking stuff again.

But it wasn’t easy. My feelings cycled between boredom, impatience, and anxiety. Yet I could always release them with reminders:
Boredom: This is good relaxation practice which benefits my body and mind.
Impatience: What am I rushing to do next? The only agenda for the night is rest.
Anxiety: All I need to do is just to show up for this practice. No need to sleep.

Finally, of course I slept. It’s only four hours of course, but I actually woke up feeling refreshed. I’d probably feel tired in the afternoon. A 20 mins nap would alleviate that.

It’s a good start. The body, having being used to sleeping after midnight would surely be confused when I start resting at 10. But I know with the right mindset, I can make this work.

And I gained something this morning: productivity! I have finished doing some laundry, yoga exercises, a 40-min long meditation and now this post. Like consistency, productivity also happens, and cannot be made to happen. It’s amazing to see how one seed intention (waking up early) can awaken one quality after another.

Related Articles:
The Soul Aspects of Creating a Habit: Waking Up Early Purposefully

6/2/2008 - Eve of a Prosperous New Year

I was wondering: Where's the Chinese New Year spirit? Where's the sense of excitement, the lucky prosperous feeling that is supposed to be Chinese New Year-ish?

Today's the Eve and we just had our reunion dinner, a Chinese equivalent to guai lo's Thanksgiving. I felt it was rather low key, and well...ordinary. Where's the festive feeling? It felt like just another dinner day with my dad, mom, sis and brother.

Then as I turned on the red lanterns outside my house, a thought hit me. I realized: It felt 'ordinary' tonight because throughout the year, all of our dinners at home had that family-festive ambience anyway. Every dinner was just as lavish as the one we had on our table tonight. Every dinner was just as cheerful and joyful as the one we had tonight. There were always laughs, silly jokes and light-hearted discussion accompanying the usual 5-dish,1-soup dinner that my dad could magically whip up in an hour or two. Then after dinner, we would usually gather in the living room to watch TV, eat dessert or drink juices, talk and discuss about our lives, eat fruits, talk about the silly people on TV, eat ice-cream, gossip about other silly people in our workplaces - all in the same evening (not necessarily in that order) as Wah Lai Toi aired one HK drama after another.

The only difference today was that we had 7 dishes and 1 soup, twice as much goofing around between my siblings and I at the dining table, my sister sang CNY songs instead of her usual favourite Jewel numbers, and there were fireworks popping outside.

So what does that mean?

Oh My God of Prosperity! We are actually celebrating Chinese New Year every single day!

Yes. We are blessed to be able to bring such festive spirit to the dinner table as an everyday thing. So much so, these happy, prosperous feelings had been made as a given, a natural thing. If dinners are any time quiet and there aren't any jokes between us, that would mean something was off.

And, since it's an everyday thing, we tend to take all this this for granted. I know I did or I wouldn't have wondered about the absence of CNY spirit. Because it was always there, I didn't notice it anymore. Like a fish asking "where's water?" Yes, it's completely absurd.

But this year, for the first time in all of my 28 celebrations of CNY Eves, I finally jumped out of the bowl, and saw the water.
And I was like ooohh...whoaaa...the God of Prosperity (Choi San Yeh) had been with us all the time! First there's the abundance of food, the sturdy roof over our heads and the healthy bodies to enjoy all of it. Then there's the abundance of love - one that we experience as a family sharing our daily lives together: the closeness, the unity, the intimacy, the joy. In the book of Family Prosperity, that pretty much sums up the main ingredients to prosper ala heaven-on-earth style. Everything else in between are only more of the Divine's generous toppings, spices and garnishes to make life tastier.

So it's funny now, how we go onto auto-complain mode about why Prosperity Yeh Yeh wouldn't choose our house (we KNOW because we didn't strike any of the Magnum 4D, Toto and Lottery numbers we bought). Hence, autopilot again, we start doing all sorts of prayer rituals with a smorgasbord of oranges, chickens, joss-sticks, sticky glutinous rice, pink coloured cakes, etc..to entice...I mean..to invite The Almighty Prosper over, so he could drop by with some of his gold ingots (he's like the Santa Claus of the East, you see, but we prefer cash over plastic toys).

How completely absurd, yet again, to think Prosperity can be bought, when we already have it in the first place! Haha. Yes I laugh now, but I have been in that kind of absurdity for more than 2 decades.

So today it's not so much of a reunion dinner to get the entire Wong clan together so we can wish everyone more Prosperity; but really a celebration of the close union we have always had as a family and to give thanks for the abundance we experienced all this time.

So forget the formalities, conventionalities and superficialities of Eve's Reunion Dinners (it really takes away the fun, trust me) and instead dive right into the heart of it and embrace the spirit of love, abundance and gratitude that lives in this spiritual day. Then let this energy flow into your New Year and empower the entire year. If you ask me, that's what true prosperity is really all about.

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone, and may you find your God of Prosperity within you...

Related Articles:
Gratitude: A Shortcut to Feeling Good
The Art of Manifesting Through the Soul

2/2/2008 - A Ritual on Imbolg (Em-Bulk)

It's interesting to work with specific energies on specific days. I received something from my friend Harris a week ago on a ritual to transform things I'd like to release from my life. This ritual works with the energy of Goddess Bridget, and it's scheduled to be carried out today.

Here's the description Harris sent to me:

Who is Goddess Brid?

Also Bridget, Brigit, Bride and Brighid.

Her name comes from the old Irish brigh meaning "power". She was the great mother Goddess of Ireland. At one time in history, most of Ireland was united in praise and worshop of her. She probably was the same with Dana, the first great mother Goddess of Irish.

Brid represents the supernal, mother, fertility and creative inspiration. She has been worshipped as a warrior and protector, a healer, a guardian of children, a slayer of serpents and a Goddess of Fire and the sun.

She was credited with inventing the Irish mourning wall called caoine (keening) when she mourned her son Ruadan, her child by her husband Bres, who was killed in a battle. Part of her essence is still said to reside in Beansidhe, the faery spirit whose keeing can be heard at night before death.

In the fifth century, her shrine at Kildare was desecrated and adopted as a holy site by Christian missionaries. They turned her into their Saint Bridget. They took her Sabbat, Imbolg and created their own feast fays for her.

Brid can aid you in virtually any endeavor you wish to undertake.

The festival Imbolg (Em-Bulk) is also known as Candlemas is a day which honoes the Virgin Goddess as the youthful bride of the returning of the Sun God in Spring.

Imbolg falls on Feb 2 08 (that's today for the Northern Hemisphere: Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Oslo, London, Tampa, New York and Vancouver). This day is also the waning moon, which is a good time to release and clear all that do not serve us.

The Fire Ritual with Goddess Brid (Goddess Bridget)
On a piece of paper, write all aspects of yourself or your life that you wish to release. This could be anything from doubts about your abilities, fear of success, jealousy, fear of not having enough, anger and so on.

After you have completed the list, spend a minutes to center yourself.

Call in your angels and guides. Finally call the Goddess Brid. Ask her to assist to release the negative aspects into the fire.

Using a cauldron or a fire resistant container, light a small fire.

Call for the Goddess to transmute and transform the list in the fire. Gently release the list into the fire.

With a soft focus in your eyes, see all the negative aspects of you and your life being transmuted and transformed by the fire.

After the fire has died, thank your angels and guides. Thank Goddess Brid.
* please use common fire safety procedures and common sense when working with fire.

Description courtesy of Harris Surya Jahim, gifted channeler and medium and teacher and practitioner of Angel Miracles and Isis Lotus Healing. Harris' website: www.harris-surya-jahim.com

I started on the ritual after I finished typing the above. It was really simple and easy.

First, I typed out my list of the negative aspects, printed it out in A5 (the smaller the piece of paper, the easier it burns). Here's my to-burn list:

What I Am Releasing to be Transformed into Higher Aspects of Light and Love

Aspects of myself

1. Easily jealous
2. Tendency to harbor resentment and hold on to grudges
3. Tendency to gossip
4. Arrogance, Blind Pride
5. Know-it-All, Holier than Thou attitude
6. Inconsistency and fast to give up on routines that are good for me
7. My evil side which sometimes cook up really evil thoughts
8. Vengeful, difficulty in forgiving
9. Condescending
10. Over-anxious
11. Easily creates emotional attachment
12. Fear of the dark
13. Feeling of lack
14. Approval and attention seeking
15. Difficulty in accepting all of my self, tendency to be really self-critical
16. Critical of others
17. Fear of intimacy
18. Fear of abandonment
19. Guilt
20. Overanalytical and overthinking mind, monkey mind
21. Easily irritated, frustrated, angry, moody

Aspects of my life

1. Working for someone, having others determine what my timeframe should be
2. Always needing to first please my parents before I can make a decision
3. Letting money be the source of my happiness instead of having happiness be the source of my abundance
4. Always feeling guilty whenever I have something good and my siblings don’t
5. The fatigue, low energy, and not so healthy feelings in my physical body
6. Difficulty in managing my empath traits

(I crossed out all the above as a symbol of having burned away those aspects)

Then I went searching for something to burn it in. I found a clay jar about 6 inches high in the storeroom.

I began the ritual as stated above, calling in Higher Guidance. But before that, I imagines myself in a golden circle and evoked spiritual protection. I also used Harris' method of visualising myself on a blue lotus and surrounded by three purple pyramids: one, around myself on the lotus, with the pointy part facing upwards, another around my room and the last one is a big one surrounding my entire house - this one is coupled with an inverted one where the flat part is where the ground is, and the pointy part pointing towards the center of the earth.

To start the fire I burned a few tissues in the jar first and then asked Goddess Brid to 'magic-up' the fire. Then I put my list into the fire. (If you burn the list directly, the flames won't lap up the paper so nicely - tissues make good fire starters).

I watched as the white coloured list dissolved into the orange-y fire, turning into ashy grey. I visualised all the negative aspects losing its darkness and being transformed into light.

As the fire died down, I called on Violet Fire and transmitted it into the jar. I visualised the jar which had smoke coming out, being filled with purple flames.

Then I was done. I thanked all the Higher Guides and let the jar cool down before I washed the ashes away and poured the ashy water into a potted plant - to return energy back to Earth for recycling.

I think this one is the simplest one, compared to some of the ones I found online like from: Earthwitchery and Moonlit River. For more info on Bridget, check out Real Magick, Lady Bridget or simply google up "Goddess Bridget".

An Episode of Synchronicity

KB has been featured here in this free online metaphysics magazine called Cosmic Lighthouse. The interview was definitely a good read - could almost hear his voice speaking those words. There are many quotes which are authentically and trademarked-ly KB's! :)

For some reason that interview inspired me to talk about Lightworks from my perspective. Probably because my experience with that new age store is, well, somewhat new-agey too...haha!

I stumbled upon - no, come to think of it, I was actually guided to Lightworks. I suspect it is Orin's energy that led me to this cosy, welcoming new age spot.

I took up a Creating Money course (by Orin) at Clove&Clive sometime in Jan 07. My facilitators were close friends with KB, so they casually mentioned him and Lightworks a couple of times. Some brochures were also lying around at C&C. I got curious and I went online to see what it was all about. That was how I knew about the place. At that time, I made a mental note: "ok this weekend I am going to go check out the place."

Didn't happen for the next 40 weeks or so, really. I don't know why, but it was either I couldn't find the place or something came up. After a few weeks I totally forgot about Lightworks.

Then sometime in mid-2007, I was introduced to another friend who owns this cafe called Lily Cenario, who knew KB. My friend, Shirley talked about him on and off. Again, the name Lightworks came up. At that time, I had began hanging out at Lily Cenario (it's also a new age cafe) quite a bit and got to know people who were taking classes and workshops at Lightworks. My interest piqued again, but again I never made it to that store.

That was until late 2007, when I actually met KB in person at a Ba Zhi seminar by Mike Lin. I felt a bit awkward meeting him the first time because at that point he's become somewhat like a household name whenever it comes to metaphysical stuff. But the awkwardness turned into a sense of familiarity - perhaps it's because I have heard so much about him from others. Then again, intuitively speaking, it's this similar kind of knowingness, a 'click' that whenever I meet someone who's going to make a significant impact in my life. And I know, because these sort of 'synchronistic' meetings with people who I call my "Divine messengers" are not an everyday thing; although these days it's become more and more frequent. Not to categorize anyone, but I loosely call them my Divine messengers, because it's always at that point of my life when I am ready to change and grow; when I asked and prayed for an answer to questions that would change my life - and they appear at the perfect time delivering the exact 'message' that I needed. My other Divine Messengers are of course, book authors who are dead and alive (but I would probably never meet). So it was pretty cool to meet a Divine Messenger in real person. :P

After that first meet-up, one fine day, in the midst of feeling very upset and crushed because of an ongoing relationship issue, I drove around KL trying to shake that feeling off.

Out of the blue, a thought hit me: "Today is a good day to check out Lightworks." At that time, I had no idea how to get there. I had forgotten the address but I roughly knew it might be somewhere in Bukit Bintang ... or not. I was then inside the Smart Tunnel where it forked out into two routes: one to Jalan Sultan Ismail and the other to Jalan Tun Razak. Which to take? So I said out loud: "OK, angels, since this seems to be an intuitive call, take me there. "

I took the Jalan Sultan Ismail route which lead me right to Bukit Bintang. I still didn't know if it's really there. I was prepared to get lost. Oh well, a drive would shake me out of my painful emotions, I decided.

Then, ten minutes later, I found myself in front of the new age store. I wondered how in the world I could randomly get myself there without any directions, or an address at all!

I met KB there and had a short chat with him. So did I get my Divine message? Nope, not that day. But I signed up for a crystal healing workshop - coincidentally (or not!) that had been getting my attention for sometime. Coincidentally (or not), KB was also at that workshop.

Yes, so I got that message I was intuitively looking for. And it was about the Divine Wills, or more commonly known as the 7 Rays.

Perhaps it was a nudge from my angels, or my Soul, or maybe Orin or the Great Lords themselves. Perhaps it was the perfect timing. Perhaps my Soul decided this path was the best path for me to develop my spirituality. I don't know, but it all seemed right. Everything unfolded like a screenplay or something.

But one thing's for sure: the Rays changed my life. I got started working with the 7 Rays easily, comfortably and fuss-free! Sure a bit of effort was needed to learn the initial methods, but after awhile it just felt as if I was resuming something I had always known how to do. It felt more like a returning to a part of my Self than it was about learning a new tool.

I am surprised at my commitment to this innerwork, as I usually fall in and out of interest with other spiritual techniques. The Rays' not the end of it, of course, but they have given me a strong foundation. And I am everyday saying thanks to this particular synchronistic event that led me to it.

I don't know why I felt compelled to write this down. Perhaps as a reminder to myself of how prayers are always answered.

The buzz of urgency I first felt when I first got acquainted with both KB and Lightworks has somewhat settled as I pen this down. I don't feel that strong push which I had been getting a few months ago to do something at Lightworks anymore. I now realize it's an urgency within me to integrate Ray-works into my daily life. After the DW workshop a few weeks ago, there's a sense of contentment, and completion, and intuitively I know this phase of learning is done, at least for the time being.

These days, another sense of urgency is building up - on the subject of Compassion and Love Wisdom. I am reading a book by Osho on Compassion now, and it hit many familiar chords in me. At the same time, I keep getting the nudge to explore Buddhism to understand what Love with Wisdom is all about. There's also another intuitive inner call to work with Kuan Yin. I really don't know what's next as I am just following all the inner nudges. And I trust it to unfold perfectly like it did last time - although it feels a lot like I am going round in circle these days!

Anyway I still love dropping by Lightworks just to soak in the energy - there's something very happy about the ambience there. And mind you, this is NOT an advertorial for Lightworks (and I am NOT getting paid fyi :P). Besides, I have enough of sales writing at work, I certainly won't use Soulstudio for this! Haha!

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